Dumb and Dumber

Our wonderful government has once again decided that today's children are getting too smart. Yes people, they must be dumbed down and fast or else we face the horrific pissibility that they may do something like discover a cure for cancer or devolop new ways to combat climate change.

The government solution, dumb down the courses, especially in science, we will teach them the consequences of the processes they wont be able to understand at the end of the course. Thereby ensuring that we have a generation of morally informed imbeciles who could no more run a nuclear power plant than fly to mars.

Of course there will be those few who just wont give up on learning, well, what shall we do about them. Hmm, this is a tricky one. And yet we have found the perfect solution. We will remove the old G&T provision, which catered expertly to only the brightest (top 5% in the country) and change it to a government run project which aims to provide avarage care to the top 10%. We will then let them use a website designed so anyone not clinically insane will hate it (orange and black colour scheme!) which is so convoluted in design that anyone who cannot be bothered to read the 35 page long .pdf help file will be unable to use it. By this time, anyone who was remotely considering learning will have long given up and migrated, therefore becoming someone else's problem and ensuring that our plan for dumbing down British teenagers will be almost complete.

One final thing, in order to prevent the dropping of British students in league tables we will offer them multiple choice exams, thereby testing their abilty to draw rings and tick boxes, this means that a good percentage will stil achieve those top grades that will make them employable to any top government run job.

(Background to this NAGTY - National Association for Gifted and Talented Youth, was shut down to be replaced by a government run initiative for a wider range of pupils, the site is badly designed making it hard for anyone to get around!
Oh and our nations leaders and debating about what afterschool provision we need, somehow I dont think they would listen if i suggested they do something about those of us who sit around wasting 6 hours of our day already doing nothing, before worrying about what to do to extend the time we spend avoiding preparing ourselves for our future)

Quote:
No matter who you vote for the government always gets in