Love

I was going through sorting all the e-mail I've recieved and kept for whatever reason since I was 12, and I found this:

Love is when you can't sleep because you can't stop thinking about them
Love is when you can't talk because you're afraid you're going to say something stupid
Love is when you barely move because ' afraid you're going to do something dumb
Love is when you stare at the phone for hours hoping they'll call
Love is when the only thing that makes you feel better is their smile
Love is when people can say anything to you or about you and and you just don't care
Love is when you get on-line and you sit there for hours waiting for their annoying sound so you can finally talk to them
Love is when you find someone that you can tell everything and you're sure they wont make fun of you
Love is when you can just wake up with make-up running down your face from crying and they'll still say you're beautiful
Love is when they would do anything to see you smile
Love is when every song reminds you of them
Love is when they're dying and the last thing they want is to hear your voice for the last time

and seeing as I'm not sure of a place where it is put better...

1If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

(1 Corinthians 13)

So I started writing again.....

I used to write poems and such all the time, but I stopped, and this is the first thing I've written in a while. I figured I'd put it up here:

Close enough to touch
Yet far too far to hear
I can see you next to me
So far and yet so near

Smile, but do not wave
Pass on separate sides
A meter becomes a mile
With no one to confide

Months stretch out like years
I'm falling out of time
Quicksand pathways slow my tread,
Why is caring such a crime?

Randomness really.

Em

On Birthdays....

Well today has been one of my best birthdays, not having to combat illness does tend to improve ones views of a day.

I got some very nice presents, the rest of series one of Heroes, various DVD's, a really nice purse, and a collection of Poetry by John Donne, so I'm all set.

I wanted to say thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes, and making it such a lovely day!

Looking at the year ahead I can see a lot of things I am looking forward to between now and my 17th, but, seeing as I am sleepy and want to go to bed I shall not expand now. I would promise a longer post, but I cannot guarentee it so...

Thanks to everyone, and a very Happy Easter to you all

Em,

Might as welll.....

Just so I can pretend I even occasionally update this!

Seven things to do before I die

Be happy
Visit Every continent
Cycle the Tour de France
Sail across the atlantic
Updaten my blog at least once a month!
Learn to forgive
Act in The Crucible

Seven things I cannot do

Swim under water
Wait
See the end of my exams in sight
Afford to do, well, anything!
Get involved emotionally
Put myself before everyone else
Dance well enough (although 'well enough' is such a rough measure....)

Seven things that might attract me to my spouse:

Someone who likes me enough to stop me when I try to run away
Someone who'll understand when I need a hug, or when I just need someone there
Someone who reads as much as I do, and wont tease me for enjoying it
Someone who doesn't immediately fall in love with me, but when they do tells me often
Someone who will laugh with me
Someone who can dance (I know this is the same as yours Ru, but its true!!!)
Someone who understands me, and loves me anyway.

Seven things I say most often:

"sorry"
"aww"
"Ya think...."
"because"
"lol"
"hello"
"morning"

Seven books (or series) I love:

1984
Pride and Prejudice
Stardust ('cos everyone needs a faerytale based on nursery rhymes!)
The Time Travellers Wife
number9dream
Going Postal
One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest

Seven movies I watch over and over again (or would watch over and over if I had the time)

Stardust
Pride and Prejudice (technically a TV series but....)
Phantom of the Opera
Moulin Rouge
Ever After
The Shawshank Redemption
Finding Neverland

Seven people I want to join in, too (no pressure – if you hate this sort of thing just ignore it)

Tom
Anne
Steve
Roo (technically she already has but....)
Chi
Anyone else who wants to

Every Time

Every few months or so I look at this and say, I really must start udating this, it would be reallygood to do something with my blog or even, I wish I wrote more. This usually prompts a couple of seconds consideration before I am distracted by my huge pile of work, a good book, a family member or a crappy T.V program that I really wish I had never watched. So as you see the updating of my blog fails before it has ever begun.

This time though, I thought, well you really have got nothing better to do, so many people who have much fuller lives than you manage to update at least semi-regulrly, and yet you manage to spend a good proportion of your time doing nothing, and yet still not achieve something as simple as updat your blog.

So here it is, for all those of you who still occasionally check whether I write anything, an update on the fabulous world of... well... me.

So, lets see, well, I have been ill for about 9 weeks now with undiagnosed stomach pain, I have been referred to paediatrics at the local hospital, and am undergoing several fun tests. I reckon that by now I'm definitely owed my cup of juice and a biscuit, they've taken at least a pint of blood for blood tests now. Lots of fun stuff.

My mocks for my GCSE's rush up with alarming speed, they begin in a week, and teachers have only just started giving us topics for revision.

And of course, inevitably I have looked round the notable sixth-forms in the area. I think my mind is made up to go to Hills Road, to study History, English Literature, Politics and Latin.

School, when I go, seems to drag by, slower than ever as I get more and more eager to move on, grow up, leave.

And life in general, well, fine, a little boring, slow, as usual, no social life, illness has put a stop to dancing, but I hope to be better soon!

Anyway, definitely long enough for a post, maybe not so long an abscence next time.

EM

Apathetic Ramblings

I'm going through a period of apathy, nothing I do seems to matter. Nothing holds my attention for more than a few minutes. Everything seems pointless, and everything uninteresting. So here I present, a brief reflection on the instability of life.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
All that is made lost, to moths or rust.

A piece of paper with the name of a child, its brith certificate, crumples and disintegrates in the rain.

A lifetimes work, painstakingly collected samples of meaning, lost in the swift blaze that leaves naught but memories.

The memories collected over a lifetime, lost as the bearer becomes ruled by their illness.

The slightest fall changing a childs smile to a wail of pain.

The strongest house lost to the stronger storm.

The life that love created ending in dispair.

The death of an old one, with all their loved ones there.

As spring fades to summer flowers bloom and die.

Year passes to year buildings are built and destroyed.

Tress, flowers, buildings, paper, memories, happiness, life, all is fleeting.

All is fleeing away too fast for us to have a hope of catching it.

So live each day to the full, love like you've never lived, because in the end, none of it, means a damn thing.

Dumb and Dumber

Our wonderful government has once again decided that today's children are getting too smart. Yes people, they must be dumbed down and fast or else we face the horrific pissibility that they may do something like discover a cure for cancer or devolop new ways to combat climate change.

The government solution, dumb down the courses, especially in science, we will teach them the consequences of the processes they wont be able to understand at the end of the course. Thereby ensuring that we have a generation of morally informed imbeciles who could no more run a nuclear power plant than fly to mars.

Of course there will be those few who just wont give up on learning, well, what shall we do about them. Hmm, this is a tricky one. And yet we have found the perfect solution. We will remove the old G&T provision, which catered expertly to only the brightest (top 5% in the country) and change it to a government run project which aims to provide avarage care to the top 10%. We will then let them use a website designed so anyone not clinically insane will hate it (orange and black colour scheme!) which is so convoluted in design that anyone who cannot be bothered to read the 35 page long .pdf help file will be unable to use it. By this time, anyone who was remotely considering learning will have long given up and migrated, therefore becoming someone else's problem and ensuring that our plan for dumbing down British teenagers will be almost complete.

One final thing, in order to prevent the dropping of British students in league tables we will offer them multiple choice exams, thereby testing their abilty to draw rings and tick boxes, this means that a good percentage will stil achieve those top grades that will make them employable to any top government run job.

(Background to this NAGTY - National Association for Gifted and Talented Youth, was shut down to be replaced by a government run initiative for a wider range of pupils, the site is badly designed making it hard for anyone to get around!
Oh and our nations leaders and debating about what afterschool provision we need, somehow I dont think they would listen if i suggested they do something about those of us who sit around wasting 6 hours of our day already doing nothing, before worrying about what to do to extend the time we spend avoiding preparing ourselves for our future)

Quote:
No matter who you vote for the government always gets in

Ceroc, music and meaningless kipple

Went jive dancing last night with Ruth, exellent fun, fast, but really easy to pick up. The whole basis of it is the dance is completely lead by the guy, so i just have to follow, making it a lot easier for me! Did about four hours of pretty much continuous dancing, and the only problem this morning is blisters, which means four hours whithout problems with either my knees or my back! Those drugs actually work! (I went to the doctorsd after sidmouth about back pain and he gave me bright pink ibuprofen!! :) It was nice to know that various moves i had done before when dancing with either Steve or Tom were either the same or similar to ones i was dancing there, which meant i wasn't at a complete loss. The evening took the basic form of, beginners class where they teach a short routine, rotating the women round every few minutes as, like usual when dancing, there weren't enough guys, so different people sat out each time. Then freestyle, which was ok, didn't dance much, just sat and watched in awe, really want to be able o dance this well, it looks really good when danced well! Then either an intermediate class or begginner refresher class, which went through the same stuff as the original begginners class slower, and with more information about technique, also teaching about various signals which the guy uses to tell the girl what to do next.
Then freestyle again, danced every dance but one, and had great fun, most partners were really good about doing simpler stuff as i was a begginner, and some would teach me the moves if i got it wrong then do it again. So much fun!!

I am going again on wednesday, mum and dad have agreed to fund twice a week for a few weeks, then once a week, provided i use it for my Duke of Edinburgh, well I'm not complaining, i get to dance!!!

On music, Mum and Dad are looking for a concertina for me, that isn't £800, so if anyone has an english concertina they dont want, even if it needs restoring let me know! Theres a session on a monday that mum wants me to go along to, so during term i shall probably do that on a monday and Ceroc on wednesdays, and if i can persuade them, the university ballroom dance thing as well.... hmm, im actually going to have a life next year!

And meaningless kipple, i have been decorating my wall, mostly due to lack of funds to get it re-painted and dislike of the colour it is at the moment (lilac, i chose it 5 years ago!). I have covered it in pictures from all the animal picture magazines i have been given over the years (the daily mail did a series a while back) and am currently writing quotes up, if anybody know any nice quotes please leave a comment with them in, and who they are by, thanks! My wall tends to get more detailed each holiday as i get bored and do it some more, then have school and no time, so nothing happens until the next holiday!

Well this post is long enough so i leave you with:

Quote:
In the end we remember not the words or our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr.

Sidmouth! (Part 3 of 3)

Thursday:-
Concertina as usual, a little more insteresting, mostly because I was tired and so the whole thing was a little harder! I went back to the tent early due to severe back pain, and sent out a random plea for anyone who was free to come keep me company at my tent! Instructed Jen in sooking dinner on our gas cooker, and took the executive decision not to go out that evening in the hopes of being able to dance that evening. This didnt quite work out, and i ended up going to the second half of the concert at Manor Pavillion. Saw Cockersedale, who were quite good, very trad. folk, with one especially funny moment where the guy who gave them the chord on the guitar had his guitar in the wrong key, which he didn't notice for a little, and the lead singer just sort of stared at him!
Went back to the tent then despite the pain headed up to LNE, sat in the pub/food tent all evening, had a good talk with Jack about books and literature, and have come away with an even klonger reading list than before. Then tlked to Justin for a while. Ended LNE with a very slow walrz because I refused to go an entire day without dancing.
Then headed to the music/jam/talk thing in the marquee at the campsite which was great fun, started talking to Stephen Taberner ( Spooky Men's Chorale) and ended up watching the sunrise with him, steve (he cooked us breakfast earlier in the week) and cathy. Very fun, but abcolutely freezing!

Friday:-
Was good last concertina session in the morning, a little sad, but have borrowed a concertina, and can get lessons from john when hes in cambridgeshire area so will definitely continue!
Went back to the campsite in the hopes of resting my back, but ended up walking round with jack as he helped to dismantle the site (his last shift as a steward). Was good fun. Then met stephen as he was getting the bus and got invited down to town with him. So went there instead.
Wandered round sidmouth randomly, after first having found breakfast for stephen (at 2 o'clock in the afternoon! australians, honestly! :p). And went to the afternoon concert at the Ham, saw The Devils Interval and Uiscedwr, it was interesting, stephen pointed out every time they hit a not wrong! twas funny, i cant actually tell so.... ! I like Uiscedwr though they were quite good, but I had to go sit outside and read for a bit, i was so tired i was falling asleep!
After the concert Stephen taught us a clapping game/rhythm/ thing, which was great fun, if a little complicated, i think i can remember all of it though! (and the cup game!)
Then me and him wandered off down the sea front and Cathy and her friend(Cathy came to the concert too) went to get food.
I headed off back to the campsite to 'pack' and kinda lazed around, then went to the eveing concert, well the second half of it and saw Vin Garbutt, who was good, but better as a story teller than a singer! Once again, sitting next to someone who sings proffesionally was interesting!
The torchlit parade and the fireworks were brilliant as ever, and the LNE was fun, my back killed, but i was determined to dance, so did about 3 or 4 dances and the polka at the end!
Stayed up as usual and had by about 3, managed to aquire Stephens hat, Justins jumper and whisky and Jo's scarf! Twas a lot of fun, the whisky was alright, im still trying to decide whether i like the stuff, but i kept nicking justins hip flask of it and handing it round everyone, got into a conversation with someone who i cant remember the name of about how it was illegal for him to take the piss out of me because he was a teacher, so i wondered what was the policy on accepting alcohol from a minor!
Stephen headed off to bed about 3, but let me borrow the hat, as he decided i would be miserable without it (anyone who has seen spooky men will understand the importance of the hat!) I went at about 4:30 as i was ltiterlly falling asleep standing up, so justin, persuaded me to go to bed. And there ended my sidmoth proper for 2007 **sobs**

Saturday:-
Was a mixture of rushing off to say goodbye to various people and awing my family with my amazing abilty to make random friends (my family beign avid spooky fans, and me having a genuine spooky man's hat! they were even more impressed when he came to collect it, butn for some reason they all thought id nicked it, no matter how many times i pointed out how completely unlikely it was for him to go back to australia without it!)
I had a theory that if i kept wandering off i wouldn't have to do any work, almost true! So went and sat and talked to justin for a while, twasn't fair, I was gunna laugh at him for having a hangover, but he didn't have one! Went through his lines with him a little, and generally did nothing.
Then went back to the tent and helped a bit, justin turned up to say goodbye, and me and ruth randomly headed over to see steve, who was taking an extremely relaxed attitude to packing, kinda standing where his tent had been doing pretty much nothing! Justin drove past while we were there and said final fare wells, and we went to say goodbye to Manon and Peter-Paul, who, having speant an hour and a half packing the car, then had a momentary panic when they couldn't remember where the car keys where. Fortunately they were in Peter-Pauls ruck-sack, but it was hilarious!
Said fond fairwells to random people like tom, who we see at most festivals and ended up dancign a six-person rosa with, dont knwo what a rosa is, ask me and il explain sometime! And we were off home, to dream for another year (well 6 months IVDF, cant wait!)
the journey home was uneventful, stopped off at Uncle Ernests and Auntie Pamela's for a couple of hours, i ended up falling asleep i was so tired and arrived home at about 10:30.


And there concludes my epic post. thanks to all for such an excellent festival. i'll be there next year!

Quote:
It takes wings to make miracles happen
On the side of a lorry on the way home from sidmouth!

em
x

Sidmouth! (Part 2 of 3)

Monday:-
Found out that I had got into the concertina workshop run by John Dipper, excellent first session, if a little slow, i had worked out how to play the scale in about 15 mins, and he took the hour teaching it. But it was still fun, and i really enjoy playing it! Then went to a talk at the Woodlands Hotel with Manon, about the laws you have to follow as a performer, and all the paperwork involved, interesting, and a bit scary just how beurocratic our country is! Speant the afternoon with Manon and Peter-Paul, as they stewarded the Arts Centre, had several nice cups of tea. Went to the evening concert in the Ham, Eliza Carthy and the Ratcatchers, alright, but not my favourite, and ended up leaving early, due to a fever! To put it in perspective, the Ham Marquee is about 40 degrees, and I was shivering! Went back to the tent and rested then went off to LNE, danced a Boureé with Tom, we were supposed to dance a Boureé de jeunesse, but instead danced a boureé de ligne instead, much more fun!
It was the first night I stayed up after LNE and was great fun, a group of us, Ruth, Tom, Justin (i think), Manon and Joe stayed up until about four thirty! Having the most random conversations, which went from the mundane (cooking, dancing) to the insane (ceilidh karma sutra). I tried whiskey for the first time, Laphroaig, apparently, was odd, but quite nice, warmed you up considerably! We all went to bed about 4:30, having decided to meet at 9 to have breakfast with Tom's friend Steve (who had no idea of this!). And then head of to a contra workshop.

Tuesday:-
Dawned, but we already knew that as we were up to see it! And we went of to meet Tom and Manon for breakfast, Tom's friend steve wasn't up yet so we headed off to catch the bus and have food in town. Having missed the bus we headed off to see if steve were up, he was so we went back, and had coffer (or tea in my case) with him. After having made an executive desision that i was too tired and hungry to go to my workshop i stayed for breakfast, a very nice meal or tomato, bacon and spam!
We then went to a playford workshop and speant a lot of it mucking about, but we ahd fun, I kept nicking tom's hat, and we passed it randomly round the dance floor! Although some of the older people got annoyed with me and tom because we kept mucking up the dances!
Had lunch with tom, ruth and steve (lovely burgers from the bedford hotel) and saw tom off on the bus home, then sat having drinks in a bus stop seeing as we thought it was almost certainly illegal.
Speant the afternoon once again with Manon and Peter-Paul doing pretty much nothing.
In the evenign i went to the Black Tie Ceilidh in the Blackmore Gardens which was great fun! The range of people from those who took it seriously, to those who turned up in normal clothes with a token black tie, i went in between, with my black halter-neck, a bright blue cummerbund(sp?) black and white over the knee socks and fancy shoes, oh and the token black tie of course!
Then went to LNE dressed like that, except for the tie which i had borrowed from Chris under threat of painful death if i lost it! LNE wasn't as good, mostly because Whapweasel were playing, and although they were very good, there were way too many people there to do any decent dancing, went to bed at about 1:30 due to tiredness.

Wednesday:-
Concertina Workshop as usual, cant remember most of the afternoon, but met up with Steve, and Ruth and various other of Steves friends for tea at a lovely tea shop a ltitle way along the coast. I had to leave early from that to get the bus with Jen to Sidford for a Fench Dancing Workshop, panicked because I lost my purse, but borrowed some money of dad.
The workshop was quite good, although th teacher wasn't the best. The following bal was quite fun, though more that 2 An Dro's ( and the other one which ic ant remember the name of) gets a little boring.
Left early, to catch the bus back, but ended up with a lift from manon and peter-paul, six of us in a car designed to take four! was a bit of a squish.
LNE was fun, but i had to leave early because my back was hurting too much.

Quote:
In every community, there is work to be donw
In every nation, there are wounds to heal
In every heart, there is the power to do it
Marianne Williamson

Emma